Saturday, November 2, 2013

Harmonious Relationships

Today, the news is filled with stories about people being assaulted or killed because of dysfunction in a personal life or with couples and families. What causes people to have disharmony that would lead someone to hurt or kill a loved one? There are probably many contributing factors; but I would like to provide one answer for your consideration and that is: a lack of love and not knowing Love. In case you didn't know, love is really a Person. Hold on and let me explain with a passage from my guide for life: the Holy Bible [all Scriptures passages have been taken from the New Living Translation-NLT]:
"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love." ~ 1John 4:7-8_NLT
Over 2,000 years ago, God showed His great love for mankind (the world) and gave His only begotten Son Jesus, who loved His Father so much that He was willing to make that supreme sacrifice. He left His home in glory (heaven) to come to earth for three (3) years to fulfill His Father's plan of redemption. After an act of high treason and betrayal by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, man was found doomed forever; but God had a plan to save mankind, so we would be redeemed from our sin debt and reconciled back to Him.  
"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him (Jesus)." ~ John 3:16-17_NLT
When love is absent, it is replaced by a counterfeit of love, anger, hatred, fear and other unhealthy emotions that cause dysfunction in any relationship. Relationships are important and contribute to family life. A healthy family begins with a healthy relationship and marriage between a man and a woman.
I have a loved one, who was in a dysfunctional relationship that eventually fell apart. Unfortunately, it wasn't a friendly breakup, but thank God there was no loss of life. During that relationship my best recourse was prayer [God was the only, Who would listen]. After the breakup, I thought about what had transpired in that dysfunctional, co-dependent relationship and how things should or could have been. As a result of that reflection, I wrote the following poem.  
RELATIONSHIPS come and relationships go; and where they go: only loves knows. Sometimes, it is weak love or a counterfeit; maybe an abuse of love-with someone getting hit.
LOVE doesn’t misbehave; but sometimes it’s mishandled by those, not trained. Handle love with care: not carelessly- or it won’t bring you joy- only misery.  
O, my friend, LOVE doesn’t live to hurt; nor does it throw someone down in the dirt. It forgives and doesn’t keep any score. Every failure must be thrown out the door. Love knows how to be right and admits, when it’s wrong. When you build it on good things—your love will be strong!
You can’t build love on selfishness; that just won’t endure. Love that lasts is giving and has a heart that’s pure.
No secret motives to manipulate; but honesty that chooses to communicate. Love doesn’t yell and is all ears. Love’s not insecure and has no fears.
Perfect love casts out all fear; if you work at love- it will bless you for years.
When it comes to relationships: if you seek God's wisdom or the counsel of a wise friend, you won't have to get clarity about an unsuitable mate and situation from hindsight. Always be mindful of the following Don'ts: 
  • Don't rush into any relationship, because love is patient and will wait if it's meant to be.
  • Don't be pressured. If you're not sure about entering into a relationship: BE STILL and pray for evidence to justify your reservation.
"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It is not irritable, and keeps no record of being wronged...Three things will last forever--faith, hope and LOVE-- and the greatest of these is LOVE." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:1,4-5,13 {I recommend reading the entire chapter.}  
It is my prayer that you will choose to walk in love and be prayerful about all your relationships. Let God guide you, because He knows what you can't see. Sometimes, we choose to learn the hard way; when prevention is better than cureRemember: everything that looks good is not good for you! If you're a wise person, choose to walk with those, who are wise-- lest you become a fool.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6_NLT  
May God grant you healthy emotions that contribute to healthy relationships as you walk in Him (love). Selah [Pause and calmly think on that]!

#Shalom to you; and thank you for taking time to read this post! (*,*)