A Few Thoughts About BULLIES

 

As a youth, I grew up hearing and saying with my playmates: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”  We believed that to be true, but it was only through study of the Scriptures as an adult that I found out the truth: names and words can really hurt. “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose” (Proverbs 18:21 – The Message).  In our formative years, we chose to do what was popular and as school age children and teens, we wanted to be cool, spent time sharing the latest gossip about our peers and maybe even making fun of those we did not like. There were fights (I wasn’t a fighter, but had friends who did) and maybe we encountered a bully or two, but sometimes, those you were initially afraid of ended up becoming a good friend at the end! It was all about communicating and getting to know one another. The bullies during my childhood and teen years only wanted tasty lunches, money, homework assistance or answers to a test they knew they couldn’t pass. The violence that did occur among youth was mostly between gang members. Today, bullies are heartless and have a violent mindset towards their peers.

I recently read an article that was heart wrenching about a seven year-old boy, who was found dead in Detroit in what authorities ruled a suicide. Suicide at seven years old? When I was that age, I don’t even remember if I knew how to spell the word! Thank God, I never had a thought about taking my life. It was reported in The Detroit Free Press, that the mother told police that her son, “had been depressed due to the fact that he had been bullied continuously by the children at school, in addition to the constant teasing he had endured because he was the only boy in the home of eight females.” This article also referenced a 14 year old youth, who was rendered blind in one eye after being jumped by classmates, who accused him of being gay. What happened to being ‘your brother’s keeper’ and having love for your neighbor? I guess some young people didn’t get that memo (I mean text)! Times have surely changed and so have people; many are not getting better but worse with these evil times. The medias of our century have great influence that is generated through the air waves and internet. Their varied and diverse messages can and do impact us all in unexpected and subtle ways. Unfortunately, their negative effects are evident in the behavior displayed by some of today’s children, youth and young adults.

I believe today’s medias have influenced our children, youth and young adults in such a way that it causes them to be cruel, hateful and insensitive toward their peers without a reason. They emulate what they see on television, video games or rap videos. Where are the parents of children and youth who bully and what are these parents teaching their children at home? It’s obvious that some parents are clueless about their children’s aggressive and violent behavior until they are exposed after an unfortunate incident.You would think that young adults would know and show better, but unfortunately, bullying incidents are also taking place in our nation’s colleges and universities. Could it be that some bullies are in the closet with their family, but emulating towards outsiders what they see and experience at the hand of family members? Since, “hurt people hurt people,” personal hurt (or emotional damage) could be the catalyst for the violent acts committed by our children, youth and young adults against their peers. Regardless of the reasons, something needs to be done to bring a complete HALT to this modern-day terrorism.

It seems that no one is exempt from being a target of bullies; children and adults alike have been victimized. My heart goes out to all families, whose loved one could no longer endure the cruel treatment received from classmates or peers. These victims were severely wounded; left feeling worthless and without a desire to continue life. Gone are the days of being safe at school or in institutions of higher learning. It seems that no one is safe: whether an administrator, a teacher or a student; even school bus drivers have become targets for bullies and while doing their job! Parents and guardians send their children to school or off to college for an education and hope they will be safe and have a good experience. Instead, some children end up emotionally wounded by their classmates. Could home schooling become a safety net and a way for parents, who can participate-- to protect their children from peer violence that is found in elementary, middle or high school?

This problem is not yet a priority for our Government legislature, but if it came close to one of the homes of a member, there’s no doubt some action would be taken. Until that time, acts of violence by bullies need to be handled expeditiously by our local law enforcement agencies as a criminal offense. Parents and/or guardians of children should be held responsible and ordered to pay restitution to the families of the victims. Also, students, who bully should be suspended or expelled from school; this means that school officials can’t afford to be passive or inattentive and risk the safety or life of any student in their school. A strong message needs to be sent to all parents of children or youth, who feel the need to taunt or physically attack classmates. Since, there is no acceptable reason for this kind of behavior, it should not be tolerated at any time in any school in our nation. On-site counseling and support groups could be helpful for students, who fear being targeted and don’t know what to do or who to trust.

I consider individuals, who bully others to be cowards, but I also realize the possibility that some of these bullies might be victims, who are acting out the things they have experienced at the hands of individuals in or outside of their families. Some individuals appear normal to everyone, but have deep-seated hurt, are emotionally scarred and are just trying to cope. There has been enough hurt and loss of life as a result of bullying—whether in our backyards, surrounding areas or across the nation at large. We as citizens of the United States should take a stand and develop a NO-TOLERANCE position and do what we can to support any Anti-Bully group or cause in a collective effort. We need to send out a clarion call to action and put those who choose to bully out of commission, make them and their parents legally accountable and if necessary get them immediate help for any emotional dysfunction as well as anger issues. I believe that enough is too much! What do you think? The child you help save, could be your own! Selah (pause and calmly think about that)!